I hate yoga

Everything was going all fine and dandy. I lost a pound, didnt binge last night..was doing my workouts with the Wii Fit. And then I started doing this yoga pose. You bend down to touch your toes or whatever. Well, as I was doing that, I felt something POP in my back. I literly fell on my knees because it hurt so bad. The pain is going from my back to the my sides, and then to the middle of my stomach. It only hurts when I move and slouch. So I'm keeping my back straight for now. I swear, I'm never doing yoga again. I never wanted to do it in the first place!!!!!! I dunno why I kept on trying to do it. I couldn't bend any which way at all. And now this...ya, never doing it again. At least I tried it.

I'm also going to buy some new workout games. I'm thinking The Biggest Loser..and maybe DDR, although I'm sure that one will piss off my downstairs neighbor..so maybe not. I'll just check around and see what I can find. But I'm definatly going to buy The Biggest Loser.

PCOS

So basically I have PCOS. Although..for some odd reason, my doctor said I have traces of it. What that means, I have no idea. What's the difference between traces & just plain having it? Whatever, a question I should've brought up with my doc.

For those who do not know..PCOS is Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. It causes a whole bunch of problems such as..infertility (check), depression (check), WEIGHT GAIN & TROUBLE LOSING WEIGHT (double check), irregular period (nope), heavy periods (yup), etc.

That explains why 2 years ago when I tried to lose weight..I only managed to lose 5 pounds in 6 months. What are my chances for this time?? I dunno what I should do. I know someone who has PCOS managed to lose a lot of weight..and she got pregnant and she had her baby last May. I dunno..maybe I should talk to her to ask her what she did. I don't want to carry this weight around forever..and never have any kids. That would make me hate myself forever...

http://health.yahoo.com/reproductive-overview/polycystic-ovary-syndrome-pcos-topic-overview/healthwise--tw9104.html

The Good, The Bad & the Ugly

Let's start off with the good, because good news is better than bad. Last night was a binge free night!!! It was kinda easy too. I didn't even think about eating anything last night. Until I was ready to fall asleep, lol. I just ignored it because I was too tired to care. But something that helped was reading The Flat Belly Diet. Speaking of the Flat Belly Diet. I'm so glad I decided to buy this book. I've been learning so much, especially about MUFAs (Oils, Olives, Nuts & Seeds, Dark Chocolate)!! I cannot wait to start with the Four Day Anti Bloat Jumpstart. I don't know if it will help me lose some weight and inches around my belly..but it should make me feel better & lighter. Which is always a plus. But I don't want to say much more about it until I start it. So stay tuned..

For the bad...well, my gripe is with the Wii Fit. For the daily body test, it weighs you, takes your BMI, & balance. Then for the testing..it randomly gives your these balance type tests. For the last 2 days..it threw math questions at me. Math has NEVER been my best subject. I try really hard with these questions..but somehow I get a low score. I guess I've blocked out most of the math I learned in high school..lol. Although, I'm not even sure any of it stuck in my brain. So when it gives me those math questions, and I fail at it, it tells me that I must have a problem walking straight because I can't keep focus. WTF!!! I can walk just fine and stay focus on walking blah blah blah. It's just that I suck at math!!!!! I wish I could tell it that. But instead it makes me feel like a failure because of that stupid math!!!!! That will ALWAYS haunt me!!!! Well..maybe I'm not not a total failure since I know I suck at math already..and I know one thing has nothing to do with the other. I'm not unbalanced because I can't remember certain stuff. I just need more than 20 seconds to figure it out. I'm slow in math, but not in other things. Ugh!! Stupid Wii Fit. Plus it's called Wii FIT!! Not Wii Math!!!!!!!!!!

I've been very bad

So last week was a very bad off week. I had a major meltdown over something I can't even remember. It all went downhill from there. I was just all moody and depressed. Now that I think about it, it could've been PMS, because I was very very emotional. I cried during a coffee commerical!! LOL!! Needless to say..after overeating on everything I could get my hands on..I only gained one pound, LOL!!

My friend & I have decided to weigh in every friday. I think that's pretty good. That way we can see if we've lost anything throughout the week. And that way, the weekend guilt won't show up either, LOL!!!

I don't think I'm going to lose anything. I'm still on my emotional plane, and feeling very PMSy right now. I still need to control my late night eatings. I ALMOST made it last night..but at the last min, I gave in. I was so close too. Maybe that's why I went up a pound. I really need to stop doing that!!!!!!!! I drank yummy tea and everything..and yet, I still gave in. I have zero willpower. No wonder why I spend all my money on Twilight stuff, rather than save it for something better..like a blueray, LOL!!

OKay...Going to go play Just Dance with the hubby. I may do the Wii Fit again after he goes back to work. I did work up a sweat during the hula hoops game. (Me..I want..a hulaaa hoop)

My Virtual Model

Here is the one of how much I weigh & look:



And here is what I'd look like at my goal weight:



I can't wait to look like that!!!!!!

OKay...I just wanted to post this before I go to bed. I'll write about what happened last week in the morning.

I hate this

Every single day my weight go up and it goes back down, then it goes up again, and it goes down. I'm eating the same thing every day..in the same portion size and everything. Why is this happening?? I just wanna cry!!!!!!!!!! I'm working my ass off big time, and this is all I get. The only time I have ever lost a lot of weight was when I went on Zoloft and lost 15 pounds. It felt great. But I guess as soon as I got used to the meds, the pounds came back. WTF!!! I wonder if this has anything to do with my PCOS. I need to talk to my doctor. Maybe medical help or advice would be helpful. And maybe I can see a nutritionist. I'll call and get an appointment and a referral.

Just Dance

First of all, let me just say that I LOVE to dance. I may not have had lessons or anything.."but when I hear music, I just can't make my feet behave" (Yup..I quoted Grease). When I was younger, I used to make up my own dance moves. I used to stay up soooooo late just dancing around my bedroom with the lights off, and my cd Walkman turned up as high as it could go!! I dunno why I stopped doing that, it used to give me a nice workout. If my hubby ever deploys again, then I will totally go back to doing that, lol!!

Anyways..I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE this game!!! It gives me a better workout than the Wii Fit. It's probably because I don't realize I'm working out, lol. But oh man..I swear, I was throwing sweat all over the place, lol. That's how much of a workout it was giving me!!!! How awesome is that?? I feel sooooo good too. It just totally pumps you up with fun music. With the Wii Fit, I don't think I ever got that pumped up, lol. Probably because I knew I was working out. (I wonder if I can listen to music while I do the Wii Fit. That might help a lot!!!) There needs to be more workout games hidden as something fun, lol!!

My only problem with this game though is that there is only 30 dances. And NO Lady Gaga!!! If you're going to have something called Just Dance, then you better add some Lady Gaga!!! Her songs are great to workout to!!! Talk about getting you pumped up!!

I really recommend this game to anyone who loves to dance and just have a fun time. <3

It's going to be a good day!!

Want to know how I know it's going to be a good day? Because of 2 reasons. 1-I made it all the way through the night without snacking late at night (GOAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLL). And 2-The Hillywood Show finally released their New Moon Parody, and it is excellent!! I'm going to be watching it all day long now, lol.

But back to last night. We had dinner around 6/7ish. It was really good California pizza. I didn't think I would like it, but it does. So it is possible to like pizza that isn't totally fatting, lol. I even had some low cal ice cream. It came in a little cup. Totally perfect in every way. I'm not going to eat it every day though. I wanted to keep munching, but I knew I didnt need to. So I chewed gum, and drank a lot of water. Even as I was sitting here watching The Return of the King..I still felt the urge to munch, but I just kept telling myself no!! I eventually went to the bedroom to read around 11:30pm. I usually always munch when I read or watch movies...so resisting temptation was really hard. Thank God I finally felt sleepy enough to actually go to bed. So ya..I resisted the urge to snack late at night by chewing gum, drinking water, and going to bed early, lol. Hopefully this will become easier. I really hope it does. I think once I can conquer this, the rest of losing weight and exercising will be much better. One step at a time though, right?

And now, here's the Hillywood Show's New Moon Parody!!! I cannot wait to see them at the next Twi Con in Arlington!!



http://www.thehillywoodshow.com/

I let myself down big time

So all that eating last night came back to bite me in the ass big time!!!! I cannot believe it!! I gained 6 pounds!! The Wii Fit said not to eat after 9pm. So that will be my new goal. NO EATING AFTER 9PM. Tomorrow I'm going to start with the Wii Fit Plus workouts. They're just a bunch of workouts grouped together to help you lose weight. Geez...this is really hard. No wonder why I always gave up in the past. I still want to join Curves. I thought I could do that after we got paid..but the money dried up really fast. So maybe next month. I just want to look semi good by April. That is all I want!!!!!! For the WF (Wii Fit), I was supposed to lose 3 pounds by the 16th. But since I went up 6 pounds..I need to lose 9 pounds now. It's only my 3rd day and I will not feel like a failure, lol. I need to turn my negative thinking into postive thinking. So that's another goal for myself. MORE POSTIVE THINKING!!!!

A New Day, & A Time to Restart

So today is day 3 (same date as the other blog..I just wrote it after midnight). I'm hoping to not binge out on anything tonight. A friend was telling me about this weight control shakes that helps keep you full..so I'm going to look into that. I need something to help control that damn late night binging. It just makes me feel horrible!!!!! I don't want to feel like that again.

Okay..going to start cleaning. That should burn some calories. I really need to start up with FitDay.com again, so I can keep track of what I do and what I eat. I'll probably set that up tomorrow. That way I can really get a move on things with a brand new week. Starting a diet on a friday is just weird, lol. Okay..will be back later to write more.

Day 2

This is the start of my blog, but actually I'm on the 2nd day of my journey. Today and yesterday were brutal. Which I'll expalin more later..

I finally bought the Wii Fit Plus. It's actually a lot of fun, which I wasn't expecting at all. I could't get into the full workout because the hubby wanted to play his new Final Fantasy game. That and my downstairs neighbor probably would've had a cow with all the noise I would've made. But back to the Wii Fit. My age on it is 35!!! I'm 24 (soon to be 25). That is pretty bad. But I weigh less than I orignally thought, which is a huge a relief!! I'm looking forward to working out tomorrow (well..later day).

I'm having a bit of trouble not eating so late. After I worked out on the Wii, I ate an apple, a couple spoonfuls of Nutella, and string cheese. I really don't know why I do this. I wasn't hunger. I was just watching a movie and felt the urge to munch on something. Even while I was doing it, I felt guilty. But that didnt stop me. You really have NO idea how much I hate myself right now. I'm praying tomorrow night will be better. I need to start chewing gum or something at night.

Well..I guess that is all for now.

Peace, Love & Twilight.